Good Families Are No Accident

We just began a new series entitled Great families are no accident.  We talk about having a great family but how many of us would settle for good families? However God has so much more for us. So in this series we are really going to dig in God’s Word and we are going to unpack some things that I believe will help us in our families and give you some tools over the next few weeks. So many are trying to build a foundation for their families but on the wrong foundation.
Luke 6:46-49   ⁴⁶ “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? ⁴⁷ As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. ⁴⁸ They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. ⁴⁹ But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”

So many today are trying to build a foundation on the wrong foundation. In our marriages and families we are building a house and what Jesus is saying here is if you want a great family it has to be built on the right foundation.

Notice Jesus says when the floods came not if they come. I want to talk to you about how important it is for intentionality in your marriage and in your family.

When it comes to families, all of us are in a different place.  There are all different types of families: blended, single, single again, etc. Often times the things that bring us the most pain, heartache, sorrow and stress are those family relationships. However we could all agree that the things that can bring us the most joy, fulfillment and happiness are also those family relationships. When families work well it is the most awesome blessings that God can give us this side of heaven that God has given us. However when they are not working well it can be the most painful thing this side of heaven that we are dealing with.

So we understand what is at stake. What is at stake is huge here. What is at stake is the family. If you are new here you are probably thinking I am going to open up the Bible and show you all those examples in the Bible of healthy, prosperous and happy families so we can learn from them. Actually the Bible is just the opposite. There were a lot of messed up families in the Bible.

The Bible is filled with so much pain, drama and dysfunction in the family. It starts with Adam and eve and then you have Cain and Able. We have murder in the first chapter by Cain killing his brother Able. Cain and Able are two examples and then we go to Abraham and see his nephew Lot goes down to live at Sodom and Gomorrah.  If you have a family member that is thinking about living in Sodom try to stop them. You have all the pain of Lot living there and losing his wife. Then you have Joseph’s brothers wanted to kill him and sell him into slavery and all the drama there. The Bible starts out with the craziest things happening in the family.  One of David’s sons rebels and wants to over throw him and kill his father.  

We see in the New Testament all the people coming to Jesus and the pain they are having. So many people in the New Testament came to Jesus with family issues. One man son was oppressed, and another man comes to Jesus with a sick daughter. Mary and Martha are disagreeing and Lazarus is dead. We see all this craziness.

 Maybe you are thinking if so many of the Bible families were crazy how is there hope for me and my crazy family. How many of you have crazy family members? How many have at least one crazy family member? If you are not raising your hand, you may be the crazy one. The truth will set you free.

In the Bible there are also great stories of redemption in families such as Joseph and the prodigal son’s family. Our story with Jesus is God bringing us back into his family. We are the bride of Christ and one day we will be reunited with him for eternity.  The Bible is full of great hope.

However we are not in heaven yet. What do we do? The culture and society is against the family. I have good news for you because I want to introduce you to a person that can turn any situation around in your family. When he came on the scene, he totally revolutionized what marriage and family meant. He elevated marriage, women and children to a whole new dimension. He brought the family dynamic into a whole different realm. No longer is family just about procreation and social environment.

>>Family is the place you can enjoy the glory of God

Family is place you can experience the greatest blessings of God. Family is the place that has to do with God’s desire and destiny in your life. This person is going to make all the difference in your family and his name is Jesus.

When Jesus says dig deep and make me your foundation I will take you to a whole other level. Jesus says I am your foundation but you have got to dig deep. What seems impossible in the natural he can make possible but you have got to dig deep and make me your foundation. We are not building on what a television show says. We are not building on what social media says. we are not building on what the secular says. We are building on what the sacred says. Jesus said I am your foundation but you have got to dig deep.

There are Christians going around and they are doing some digging with their families but they are doing some superficial digging with a little rake and garden shovel clipping a few little weeds here and there. They are hoping things turn out well in the end. If you want your house, your family and your kids, you are going to have to dig deep.  Before this series is over we are going to help you to get rid of the rake and garden shovel and bring a bulldozer and heavy equipment in to build the right foundation. We are going to empower you and teach you and together we are going to dig deep.

This is where the rule and reign of Jesus is.  As we talk about the family we need to understand that just as natural families have customs boundaries, expectations and principles so does God’s family. So how am I to build my natural family now that I am in God’s family? Jesus imparted these revolutionary concepts that apply to marriage and family. These teachings were ground shattering to these people. When Jesus said let the little children come unto me, this blew them away for children were not of great importance. When Paul wrote about the husband and the wife and the equality in marriage in the kingdom of God even though their roles were different this blew them away.

Here are some revolutionary ideas that God set forth for the family:

>> God’s Ideal For The Family

Ephesians 5:21-24   ²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

**Wives submit to your husbands

“Are you telling me I am supposed to submit to him? You don’t know him.”  In our culture this is like a dirty word. You are sub to the mission it is not just your husband; it is to God so you can express the purpose and glory of God in Christ. Our culture is constantly pumping the opposite into us. Whether it is a commercial, a sitcom, the news or a movie our culture is not turned this way. Often they make the husband look disconnected, too busy, wimpy, dumb or lazy. Some of you would say: “yes that’s my husband.” Husbands let me tell you that are not the man God has designed you to be. There are fathers that are so disconnected that they have little or nothing to do with actually raising their kids.

God’s ideal may not be real for you right now but this is what God designed. You may not be where you need to be with it but this is where you must be heading.

**Husbands love your wives
Ephesians 5:25   ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

“Do you mean I am to love my wife like Christ loves the church? I am doing everything I can do just to survive that woman. I am giving her all I possibly can. you don’t know what I am dealing with .If you are going to experience the power and the blessings of marriage this is the ideal. It may not be the real in your life right now but it is the thing to do.

**Children obey your parents

Ephesians 6:1-2   6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—

Please hear me carefully… your children are not to dictate to you what they do. They do not tell you they are not going to children’s ministry, student ministry or to church. They do not tell you when they are going to date. The do not tell you, you tell them. I know this is not popular in our culture where every kid is a winner. There is no doubt we do what we do for our kids out of good intentions but that is a problem when it interferes with God’s intentions. I don’t care how good they are in sports; you are derelict in your responsibilities as a parent when you do not bring them up in the Lord. Parents wonder what happened to their kids and why they went the way they did and why they don’t love God and his church. Could it be that because you made sports, etc priority over God? Parents you can’t flippantly spend time with your kids while building your dreams and career and expect things to turn out okay.

**Sexual Purity- this is not what the world is telling you but this is what God is saying. You are to save yourself till marriage. This is contrary to our culture. You are to be faithful to your spouse. It is one man for one woman. It is not to be perverted. The world says it is okay but God says different. Get help to get out of this lifestyle. God loves you but he loves you too much to leave you this way. The world says you were born this way. God is the one who created you and he created you for his purpose and in his design.

How is the world’s way working for everybody? How is the world’s way of marriage, raising children, purity and just express yourself working out?

**this generation is marinated in pornography. We are going to see massive destruction if the church does not talk about it and stand up against it. It may be something you are struggling with but we have to say I know what God’s word says and I am going to go his way though I struggle. I am not going to go the way of the world. do you think God knows what he is talking about when it comes to family?

Some would say I know these are lofty ideals but is not the real. In the real world this is impossible. This is not realistic.  Yes it is. So what do we do? Some say but this is what I am dealing with in my family, what do I do?  “I am a single mom. We are both working. We already have problems. We already have problems with our kids. We are too busy, it is too hare and it is already too complicated. I am having trouble match my real with God’s ideal.”

>>What do we do with the gap between the ideal and the real?

God has a purpose for you. He gives you his grace to fill the gap. Our responsibility is to work toward his idea. We must make the decision that we are going to have his ideal for our lives and for our family and depend on his grace to take us there. He is not expecting you to be perfect rather he is expecting you to trust him. He is expecting you to give him the total control of your life. If it were easy, you would not need the grace of God. He has done his part with grace but what are we going to do?

Really you have two choices:

1. You can quit and do nothing. Is that going to be our response just because it is hare and difficult and the culture tells us it’s standard. Are we going to quit and forfeit God’s ideal because we feel like we can’t handle it? Are we going to quit because we don’t think we can do any better?

2. We can fill this gap with some faith, hope and love.  We can say what is at stake is too important, too sacred and too precious for me to quit.

If we can get the home right, we can see the biggest revival the church has ever seen. God has done his part with grace so  I am going to start filling this gap with faith, hope and love and I am going to be intentional in my family and I am going to dig deep and build our family on the right foundation. I am going to trust God to lead me to make the decisions that are best for my family. I am going to get the help I need to be what God created me to be.

I am not going to reduce God’s ideal to my real. Rather I am going to elevate my real to God’s ideal. How are you going to fill the gap? Are you going to give up like the world and culture or are you going to strive for his idea. Say yes to his ideal. Good families are no accidents. It takes dedication and intentionality.

5 Things To Remember In Reaching Messy People

We just started a new series entitled Love Your City, Change The World.  I believe the best way to love and reach our city is to understand the church and to love the church. God has always worked through his people. Jesus always worked through His followers. Jesus started the church, loves the church, and works through the church.

When functioning properly, the church is the tool God designed to reach the world and change the world through the power of the gospel.

In Matthew 16, Jesus went to Caesarea Philippi which was full of messy people far from God. When Jesus went there it took him a week to get there from where he started. It was an uphill walk. Any time Jesus goes to a particular geographical location we should take note. The nick name of this city was the gates of hell.

I love the fact that Jesus went there. Jesus does not run from messy people, rather he runs to them. We have told our culture when you become like us you can be a part of us.

5 Things To Remember In Reaching Messy People

#1 Messy People Need God

Maybe that is you now or maybe you can remember when you first realized you needed God. I praise God we have created an environment for messy people.  In fact I am a messy people.

Jesus got a conversation started about himself in an environment for messy people and we should do the same.

#2 God Loves Messy People

Jesus said He came to earth for those far from God. Luke 19:10  For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” He loves everyone including you.

 #3 Messy People Are Reachable

When we reach those people no other church wants and they get saved, they are the ones every other church would die to have. God's grace is for everyone and anyone who calls on the name of Jesus can be saved.

#4 Don't forget what it was like to be lost

Don't forget what it was like to be saved, healed, your marriage restored, your children come home, or your emotions healed. We must never forget what God has done for us and remember He wants to do that for others. One reason some church people don’t love messy people, is that they are not at a point in their relationship with Jesus that they know how messy they really are themselves.

#5 God Uses The Church To Reach Them

Jesus told Peter that he, Jesus, would build his church. From that time in Caesarea Philippi till we see Peter in the upper room ,Peter began to grasp the mission of Jesus. We are His hands and feet. We must never get so inwardly focused that we forget the mission He has given us.  Through the church Jesus provides hope for the world. Through the church, Jesus expresses His heart for the world. Through the church, Jesus provides healing for the world.

 

 

 

Momentum

How many want and need to get their spiritual momentum back? If you have lost your momentum you have picked a good day to read a blog. Several series ago I talked about recovering or rediscovering your spiritual momentum. You build momentum by successive consecutive victories. Remember, however, it is God who brings the momentum.
For example: Every time you come to church it is another win in building victory. Every time you come it is a success towards momentum. Every time you become consistent in reading your bible and in prayer it is another victory. Every time you allow God to renew your spirit it is another win and step in momentum. 
Maybe you need a fresh start. Maybe you have lost your drive, hope, momentum and vision. Sometimes our momentum gets hampered or slowed by things that happen to us or around us. You are not going to get back your momentum by asking God why but by asking God what. Satan wants to hamper and dampen our momentum but God wants to move mightily in our lives. Maybe it needs to happen in your spiritual disciplines. Sometimes the momentum continues as a whole but for individuals it can wane. It can also happen in the church and in the home. You cannot create today’s momentum with yesterday’s memories.

Our church has been an ongoing momentum. We began with 18 people and God has done an incredible work. It is a movement of God and it continues.  I don’t know exactly why God has chosen to bless this church with momentum but I am thankful. It is amazing that our church just this calendar year has been on mission with God to eight different countries. Not to mention the lives daily that we are seeing changed in our area. We are weekly seeing lives changed through our Celebrate Recovery ministry as well as through many other ministries in our church. God is good and He brings momentum through our obedience.
It is interesting how people get so excited when their sports team does well. I do as well. What if we got that excited when we see a life change, a person saved, a marriage restored, a person getting baptized or a deeper level of commitment? One good thing is momentum is not a series of fortunate events. It happens when you are in a situation where you say God I need you now. It is then that He moves and we experience another victory.

 

 

 

 

Let's Do It

We make a mess of things when we take our eyes off of God. We are the most fulfilled in life when we walk with God. We are here to glorify God and we are here to reach the world for Jesus. When we take our eyes of his purposes we become a nasty mess.

If we can get right it can change every part of your life. Your job, finance, marriage and the way we do church.

Note: Life and church finally begin to make sense and have significant meaning when I finally begin to understand that it is not about me. Sometimes we have a hard time understanding or grasping that it is not about me. How significantly would your marriage improve if you said: “It is not about me” and you spent the rest of your life trying to out serve your spouse.

Luke 14:12-24

¹² Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. ¹³ But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, ¹⁴ and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”¹⁵ When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, “Blessed is the one who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.” ¹⁶ Jesus replied: “A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. ¹⁷ At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’ ¹⁸ “But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, ‘I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.’ ¹⁹ “Another said, ‘I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.’ ²⁰ “Still another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’ ²¹ “The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’ ²² “‘Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’ ²³ “Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full. ²⁴ I tell you, not one of those who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.’”

 

What if we took that attitude in the church?  I want us to be obsessed with these two things: who Jesus is and what Jesus wants. Its not about me! In order for us to get to that point, there are four things we need to do.

(1) We’ve Got to Think Like Jesus

Here is what I have discovered. There are people who go to church but they don’t think like Jesus. The more I walk like him the more I think like him.  We have got to think like Jesus and the more we walk with him the more we will think like him.

Jesus was invited to a party. Some have a problem thinking that Jesus went to a party.  In john 1 his first miracle was making 180 gallons of wine.  He was called a friend of sinners and you don’t get called that by going to homeowners meetings.

This party was put on by religious leaders. They were not too smart. The reason they invited him was to trick and trap him.  How do you trick Jesus?  They brought a sick guy, they put him near Jesus and said we know he will have compassion and heal him.  The problem was it was on the Sabbath day.  It was not that they did not think a miracle could take place but had to be done in their system.

So Jesus goes and sees him and heals him. He was constantly ticking the religious people off. So Jesus does not play it safe and ticks them off. In this day if you had a physical condition they believed it was because of a spiritual condition. People who were religious did not like to associate with these people.  Jesus says you need to get some people in here that are not like you….there are churches that don’t want different color people, people with tattoos, etc.

The church is not called to legislate behavior modification but to preach the cross of Jesus.  He brings the change. We are here for people who are not like us.  If you want a church where everybody looks like you, talks like you etc…. not here. We are after people who do not know Christ and then we want to disciple them so they can know him better.

Religious people are not too smart …. They did not get it.  The same today. We view ourselves as the good guys and those outside the church the bad guys. That’s messed up.  We were dead now we are alive. They are the dead guys that need to become the alive guys.

Its not about me.  There are things that happen here sometimes that might make you feel uncomfortable. “well I don’t like how that happened.”    “That rock music…” That is like saying to a fireman who just ran into a burning house to save someone, I don’t like how you did that…. You should have worn a hat. Seriously?

We are about who Jesus is and what Jesus wants. He wants us to reach the poor, cripple, blind….

(2) We've Got to Rejoice Like Jesus

We go to the game and yell and scream…. All this is temporary…we do it over college ball etc. The church has let the world out celebrate them. Church should be a celebration.

Luke 14:16   They had a great party and invited many guest. Church is not supposed to be boring lifeless and predictable. It is supposed to be a place we come and celebrate two things, what Jesus is and what Jesus wants.

Don’t tell me you can’t celebrate.  “I’m not into celebration….well I think it should be reverent… you are in rigor mortis. Don’t tell me you are not into celebration… every time your team scores you shout and raise your hands. When I think about the one who loved me and saved me, rescued me and changed me…I cant help but celebrate. Do you realize Jesus shut down ever funeral he went to in the bible.  He never preached a funeral. Ever funeral he went to he would just say  "Get up."  I have never tried that…”I got this…get up.” I want to say this in a delicate way but every year in America 3000 churches shut their doors…. It may be that he is shutting down funerals because they no longer know how to preach the gospel, love Jesus and celebrate.

“Well I don’t like loud music…”  Do you know how loud the music is going to be up there? Lightning flashes etc. In book of Revelation it describes heaven… thunder  and lightning.

(3) We Have Got To Understand Like Jesus

We have to come to an understanding of our roll.  Husbands have to do this…Sometimes what we get wrong in the church is an understanding of what we are supposed to be doing.  Luke 14:17 If you are in Christ we are a servant.  I want to thank every person who serves here. Get involved somewhere. Some say I am busy…. Everybody is busy. What is a servant supposed to do?  Whatever his master tells him. The servant goes and tells people the banquet is ready. That is our job,,, to tell people far from God….it is frustrating at times.  They are hard to reach at times. Vs 18-20 everybody had an excuse.

Three excuses why people don’t come to church and some in church not following for the same three reasons.

1. Money- if you make 30K in America your are in the top 5 percent of wage earners in the world. 2. Work and recreation-the whole ox thing…. Men, be a man and bring your family to church on time. 3.  Relationships- some will not get involved in church and following Christ because of a relationship you are in.

You can’t get in my business…. Jesus said if you love me obey my commands. Isn’t it frustrating when you invite and they still don’t come.

(4) Pursue Like Jesus

We pursue our spouse. Vs 21 The owner became angry because he had paid a high price for the party. Our father sent his son. Just establish a small church that feels good but does not reach anybody…. No it it does not say that…. Go out quickly and bring in the poor crippled and blind. Go get the people who are not like you.  Do you realize the reason you work where you work is to reach people for Jesus? Go out quickly.
The reason your kids are on that team is to reach people, parents etc. God strategically place you kid there so you could reach them.  Jesus said we have to do that quickly and there must be urgency. Are you all about the numbers? Yes because people need Jesus. "But the church can get too big"   You do not feel that way about your IRA. Jesus values people.

We have a God that majors in crazy.  Vs 22  we have done what you said but there is still room. There is still room at both campuses.  If we fill this one up we will do something else…. But there is traffic problems and parking issues…. Praise God.

There is still room!!! We need to outgrow our facilities. Vs. 23-24  go out to the roads and bring them in….make them come in!!!!

We have the salvation , the outpouring of the Holy Spirit … make room. We are called to get past our comfort zones and bring people to Jesus. Everyone of you knows someone that is far from God. We’ve got to be willing to do whatever it takes to bring people to Jesus.